Why bother with mediation? Let’s face it—life gets messy. We argue. We disagree. Especially i it’s with an ex partner, conflict is just part of life.
But the big question is: how do we deal with it? Many people think going through the court process is the only way to find solutions. But there’s another option; mediation. It’s often faster, cheaper, and less stressful than fighting in court. Let’s find out more.
Why Bother With Mediation, What Is Mediation?
Mediation is a way to solve problems by talking things through. It’s not about fighting or proving someone wrong. It’s about listening, understanding, and working together. To discuss issues and points of view. To find a fair and balanced solution that everyone can agree to stick to.
A mediator helps you have that conversation. They don’t take sides. They don’t impose outcomes. They don’t make decisions for you.They simply guide the discussions and help you both come to an agreement that works.
Why Bother With Mediation. Should I Just go to Court?
Court can be expensive, stressful and slow. Even if you “win,” it can damage relationships and drag on for months—or even years. Mediation as an alternative is private, faster, and more affordable. It focuses on keeping the peace, not creating winners and losers. Most importantly: you both stay in control. In mediation, nothing gets decided unless both people agree.
How Mediation Works Faster
Mediation doesn’t involve waiting months for court dates. You and the other person can pick a date that works for you both. This flexibility means you can deal with the issue quickly and at a time that is suitable.
Mediators keep things on track. They make sure people don’t get off-topic or go in circles around other issues. The whole process is focused on problem-solving, not arguing. Their goals is to keep you focused on the outcomes you want to achieve.
Why Bother With Mediation? How Mediation Saves Money
Legal battles can be expensive. You might need to pay lawyers, court fees and more.
Mediation is much cheaper. You usually split the cost of the mediator. There are no court fees, and fewer hours mean less stress and fewer bills.
Here’s a simple comparison:
| Cost | Mediation | Court |
|---|---|---|
| Mediator/Lawyer Fees | Shared between both people | Each side pays their own solicitor |
| Court Fees | Usually none | Can be expensive |
| Other Costs | Very low (maybe a few meetings) | High—may include experts and delays |
Why Bother with Mediation – Clearing Up Some Common Myths
A lot of people have the wrong idea about mediation. Let’s clear things up.
Myth 1: “Mediation is only for small problems”
Truth: Mediation works for big problems too—like family fights, issues over child access or divorce. Whether you need help to work out who is going to have the kids at Christmas or arranging pick and drop off. It also help for larger issues over child arrangements. It gives you the understanding to put a parenting plan together. This plan can then be taken to court to make legally binding if you feel it is needed.
Myth 2: “You need a lawyer for mediation”
In most situations you don’t. Mediators are trained to manage discussions fairly. They are family law experts. Mediation is self referred and voluntary. This means that you don’t need a solicitor to tell you to start mediation. The process is between you and your ex partner to find solutions. You do not need to be represented as it is about your voice and finding solutions between you. It is not about taking sides, finding blame or winning. It helps you talk things through and find answers without needing legal advice. If you are considering child arrangements through court, many people think they need a solicitor. However the essential step is a MIAM.
You must attend a Mediation Information and Assessment Meeting before making an application to family court. Usually over financial issues on divorce or legal separation.
You will need to attend a MIAM if you are applying for a court order about your children (a C100 application). If you want to invite someone to mediation to resolve a family dispute.
This essential step must be done if you are looking to complete a C100 for a child arrangement order. The court will not process your request further if you cannot provide this. A MIAM can be done even if you do not think your ex will start mediation
What Does the Mediation Process Look Like?
Mediation is flexible, but usually follows a straightforward process and a few steps:
1. Initial Meeting
You meet with the mediator to go over the rules, how things will work, and what you both want to achieve. This is your MIAM (Mediation Information Assessment Meeting). It is the assessment to begin mediation. At this stage the mediator will tell you if they think mediation is suitable. If it is not or your ex won’t take part the mediation, your MIAM can be turned into the forms you need to start potential court proceedings.
2. Guided Discussions
The mediator helps each person share their side. Everyone gets a turn to speak. The goal is to understand each other, not blame. Mediators use a structured process based upon what they learn in your initial meeting. The goal is to bring to you together to put aside bad feelings and disagreements. To discuss solutions and find ways to agree. The goals are kept in mind and the mediator helps you stay focused to work out plans that everyone agrees.. A Memorandum of Understanding (MoU) is a written summary of the agreements you and your ex-partner make during mediation. This could include things like childcare arrangements, how to split money or property, or any other decisions you both agree on.
Why Is an MoU Important?
Clear and simple. It lays out all the decisions you’ve made in one place. So there’s no confusion later. It avoids misunderstandings. Having things in writing helps prevent mix-ups or miscommunication. Can lead to a legal agreement. While the MoU itself isn’t legally binding. A solicitor however can turn it into something official. Like a Consent Order, which the court can approve.
In family mediation, you stay in control of the outcome. Rather than a judge deciding for you in court. The MoU helps keep that control clear. It gives both of you peace of mind knowing everything is written down.
The Mediator’s Role
Think of a mediator as a guide, not a judge. They help keep things fair, calm, and respectful.:
- Make sure everyone gets a chance to talk
- Help people listen to each other
- Keep the conversation focused on solving the problem
- Offer ideas when needed
Mediators are trained in communication and conflict management. They’re skilled at helping even the toughest conversations stay on track.
Why Bother With Mediation – Frequently Asked Questions
Is mediation legally binding?
Yes. If you come to an agreement, it can be made official and even added to a court order if needed.
Can mediation still work if things are really bad between us?
Yes. Mediators are trained to work with people who don’t get along. They help keep the conversation respectful and focused on solutions. The goal of mediation is to be an alternative dispute resolution. This brings you together to find solutions even when the relationship has broken down.
Why Bother With Mediation? Final Thoughts
Mediation isn’t about “winning.” it’s about understanding, working together, and moving on.
If you’re stuck in a conflict, don’t rush to court. Talk to a Trusted Mediators. It could save you time, money, and stress—and help you find real peace. Speak to our team on 03300 101 306. If you want to arrange a callback at a time that suits you, head to our